Reconciling 2014

IMG_6583We’re a week into 2015. I wrote some reflections on 2014 at the end of December. Then there was one more piece I had to process. It’s done. I’m not running away from 2014 in any manner, I’ve just finally put away some pieces of my past. And reclaimed some pieces of myself I mistakenly gave away. Now I’m ready to run full force into 2015. And I’m ready to share with you my reflections on this past year.

2014 was a huge year of transition for me. I entered the year completely uncertain of my future, but with a glimmer of hope on the horizon. I held my breath and jumped. I held onto God as He held onto me. And He didn’t let go—all year long.

Transition is hard. There were hard changes that were ultimately good. Still hard though. There was a lot of letting go. Letting go of people. Some through death. Some through normal life change. Letting go of old ideas. Old habits. Old dreams that no longer served my purpose.

There was also a lot of forgiveness extended, because I don’t choose to carry the hurt of anger or disappointment forward. And in forgiveness there was blessing. A complete blessing and releasing of those who had wronged me. Hurt me. I choose to no longer hold on, but pray that they are blessed. Abundantly. And in that, I experienced joy and blessing from the one who ultimately forgives me.

There was physical change.   I left a job. I sold my house. I moved my family to a different state. He blessed as I clung to Him through it all. He shook up my life to move me where I’m supposed to be right now.

My ministry to others is growing. Through church and the families I’m blessed to work with. In my writing and sharing these thoughts with others. Work He has called me to. I’m grateful. I’m humbled. I’m still in awe. I’m excited to see how He continues to grow this in the coming year.

There were also so many adventures!! Moving, many statues climbed on, trails hiked, baseball games, exploring a new city. Smiling. Laughing. Turning old. And realizing it’s not the end of the world. It’s a letting go of the things no longer needed in my life. Like fear and anxiety. It’s choosing to look for and embrace joy.

The past continues to reconcile. It is no longer a huge burden. There are still a few loose ends that don’t make sense. I’m okay with that. Because 2015 isn’t about continuing to reconcile those moments. It’s not about running from a past. 2014 took care of that, moved me past that. So I sit here on the edge of 2015 with a smile. A laugh. And a heart wide open to all the exploration, adventure and JOY He chooses to bring.

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